Gaslighting the greatness away

they called me ungrateful for the desire to lose it all

selfish to speculate my end 

even just the thought 

my eyes, my legs, my ears

they must not understand the torture it is to exist 

I see too much, hear too much, and my legs take me places I wish not to go

they'll lie and say I matter

to you? for you? to who? 

questions that are important to ask

nothing should be too "taboo"

we need to welcome the uncomfortable, the gruesome

thoughts are thoughts

though we never may take action, the feelings still exist

I dreamed I lost it all

and I was happy, neutrality at its finest

don't suppress, accept, and maybe we can lead to a better future