the detailing of specific occurrences

I find it entirely intriguing and questionable at times 

that i write nothing of true substance
no facts, no depth
words and emotions, vague and perceptual 

the irony is that if the opposite were to exist 
it was be the same 
shall I attempt?
Philosophical skepticism 
nihilism 
I know nothing

and nothing matters

I could dive deeper 
prove my "intelligence" 
but should I?
What sticks, lands
If growth, I'll still thrive 
generations of minds can lead to clues
but nothing should be taken as testimony 

I speak today not to defend myself

But rather debate my own mind on the truth 
Micro or macro, or anything in between 
Again I repeat, it means nothing 
Unless in the case it does 

Then I suppose I will see if specificity reigns supreme
However, the only matter at present is in maintaining personal satisfaction
It matters not what others think
Or the perception of your reality
The only that does survive is your own 
And that is the one that is master, curator, and creator of all 

Fact and fiction, pleasure and pain